On my favorite subject:
>
> BEER THEORIES
>
> Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I
> look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
> of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be
> out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better
> to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and
> worry about my liver." Babe Ruth
>
> An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
> his fools. Ernest Hemingway
>
> When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Paul Hornung
>
> 4 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. H.L.
> Mencken
>
> When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
> fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
> So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! George Bernard Shaw
>
> Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin
> Franklin
>
> Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
> beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
> wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry
>
> BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C. W.C. Fields
>
> Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey
>
> To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a
> can! Leo Durocher
>
> "BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEERHOLDER"
> One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory"
> to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of
> buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd
> is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are
> killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
> because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving
> by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the
> human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
> Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But
> naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this
> way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells,
> making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!
> That's why you're always smarter after a few beers…